{"id":217,"date":"2017-05-09T19:23:37","date_gmt":"2017-05-09T23:23:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chicothemagicdog.com\/?p=217"},"modified":"2018-02-02T14:51:45","modified_gmt":"2018-02-02T19:51:45","slug":"why-dogs-pee-on-posts-trees-hydrants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicothemagicdog.com\/blog\/why-dogs-pee-on-posts-trees-hydrants\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Dogs Pee on Posts, Trees & Hydrants"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dog<\/p>\n

Why Dogs Pee on Posts, Trees & Fire Hydrants<\/h2>\n

I can forgive even that wrong of wrongs,
\nThose undreamt accidents that have made me\u2026..
\nNotorious, till all my priceless things
\nAre but a post the passing dogs defile.<\/p>\n

William Butler Yeats: \u201cClosing Rhymes\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The echoes of Yeats\u2019s \u201cClosing Rhymes\u201d reverberate in my mind, and I have been thinking long, long and hard about how to explain to you what I learned today – learned from Chico\u2026.Chico, the Magic Dog.\u00a0 It is a lesson beyond any lesson I\u2019ve ever known, heard or heard about, and it is a lesson of good, evil and fierce, battling forces in the Universe so far beyond our vision and ken that we must feel more-than-foolish if ever we pretend or claim to know anything at all, at all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I must start off by telling you that about a year ago, a year ago, December (actually, the day of the Winter Solstice, the longest evening of the year\u2026Monday, December 21, 2015, somewhere around midnight) I had my first conversation with Chico.\u00a0 I\u2019ve written about this conversation earlier, and you can go to this link\u00a0 –<\/p>\n

Chico the Magic Dog: The Beginning<\/a><\/p>\n

and get the details. \u00a0But stay with us for a moment, and listen carefully.<\/p>\n

But for now, the summary is that Chico and I were sitting outside, and I commented quietly aloud about how beautiful Mars was that night.\u00a0 Chico texted (yes, Chico texted) directly to my cell phone, and ultimately persuaded me that he had telekinetic, teleportation and tele-persuasion powers; that he came from another world halfway across the galactic disk (our Milky Way); that he was here to help me and other humans learn about and avoid an extremely dangerous evil force in the Universe.\u00a0 There are many other details, and you can read about them on other sections of this website.\u00a0 But\u2026tonight I want to tell you about why dogs urinate on posts, trees and fire hydrants (amongst other things).<\/p>\n

Yeats would never have written what he wrote about dogs defiling posts if he had spoken with Chico, but at the time, Chico was on another galactic mission on behalf of his species, the Guardians of Light and Knowledge in the Universe \u2013 and the sworn enemies of evil, the evil and dangerous Warrgs.<\/p>\n

I went out for a bike ride with Chico last night.\u00a0 It was nearly a new moon, and the evening was dark, warm, and windy\u2026actually, rather creepy, and Chico kept stopping and sniffing, long and worriedly, his brow furrowed with a concern that I\u2019d rarely seen in him.\u00a0 He stopped many times, and carefully picked certain spots to pee.\u00a0 I knew that he rarely did things either gratuitously or inadvertently, and I wondered what he was up to.<\/p>\n

\u201cChico, dear heart,\u201d I said in my head (I had learned easily to communicate telepathically with him, a kind of \u201cspeaking\/singing\u201d production that rings your head like an empty bell, but in a pleasant and reverberating fashion), \u201cChico, why do you pee like that, so specifically and carefully?\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t get the idea of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chico stopped and looked carefully, and compassionately at me.\u00a0 He was always compassionate, and always careful\u2026well, almost always.\u00a0 He half-smiled\u2026in fact, if I didn\u2019t know better, I\u2019d say he was smirking<\/em><\/strong>, but he was always patient with my ignorance.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know a lot about the Warrgs now,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cRight?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes,\u201d I replied, \u201cI know about them and I\u2019m concerned about them, but I\u2019m never afraid about them when I\u2019m with you \u2013 only when I\u2019m with the other dogs and you\u2019re at home.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s probably a good idea to take me with you, when you can,\u201d he commented thoughtfully.\u00a0 \u201cDuring the daytimes, it\u2019s probably not an issue, but the night is more\u2026. fraught with danger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDanger from the Warrgs?\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cYes,\u201d he answered, \u201cfrom them and from other creatures and beings they have invaded, and which they control\u2026. both humans and animals, and even trees, sometimes\u2026although trees are of so ancient a lineage that they are very difficult for the Warrgs to co-opt.\u201d\u00a0 I shivered.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t want to meet a tree, especially a big tree (we have so many ancient, powerful and expansive banyan trees in the Gables)<\/em> like the Banyans or a Live Oak that had been co-opted by the Warrgs.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry\u2026it\u2019s highly unlikely. They are normally in \u2026far more remote and unpopulated areas, as it takes many Warrgs, and many months, for the Warrgs to sway an honest tree in the wrong direction.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what about the peeing, the marking?\u201d I asked. Chico stood very still for a minute\u2026 it seemed like an interminable minute.\u00a0 The clouds raced across the dimly lit sky, and the dark, dark blue of the nighttime vault of heaven spread a chill, quiet shadow across the landscape and street-lights.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Warrgs can be almost anywhere,\u201d he said, after a long pause.\u00a0 \u201cAnywhere. And we can smell them. Although the smell fades over time\u2026. over weeks and months\u2026. our sniffing abilities are so accurate and focused that we don\u2019t need many molecules.\u00a0 In fact, just one or two Warrg molecules can be picked up by an experienced Woggle, and it\u2019s not terribly difficult.\u00a0 Each Warrg has his or her own chemo-molecular signature, but there are always\u2026. always\u2026. specific organoleptic signatures which are common to all Warrgs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d I said, \u201ctell me about that\u2026.and how it relates to your peeing or marking things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a hydrocarbon molecule called \u2018bullvalene\u2019\u201d explained Chico.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s quite unusual, because its chemical bonds are constantly re-arranging in a temperature sensitive manner \u2013 similar to what your chemists call \u201cfluxional\u201d molecules.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean that the molecule is always changing?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it changes as a function of background temperature, pressure and a few other factors\u2026humidity, barometric pressure, and even surrounding gases.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s really hard to figure out what it was to begin with.\u00a0 When we smell it, we try to calculate what it was an hour ago, a day ago, or a week ago\u2026and that\u2019s why I have to often take a lot of time to figure it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is that important?\u201d I asked\u2026I didn\u2019t get it.\u00a0 Maybe he must continue, I thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s important,\u201d said Chico, \u201cbecause every Warrg has a bullvalene signature.\u00a0 There are some two million Warrgs in the universe at this moment, and we\u2019ve made it one of our many missions to catalog each one of them.\u00a0 Fortunately, they are born \u2013 or re-created \u2013 at about the same rate that we Woggles are\u2026. about one every 1,000 years\u2026. So, we have some time to update the catalog.\u00a0 But we\u2019re always looking for new ones, because we\u2019re afraid we might\u2019ve missed one or two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd\u201d I said being stupid, \u201cand what is the connection to your peeing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Chico laughed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re persistent,\u201d he chuckled. \u201cIf a Warrg has been around in the last few days or so, we want him or her to know that we\u2019re watching, and protecting, and if they continue to hang around we\u2019re going to go after them hammer and tongs, and perhaps even wipe them out, or send them back to their home planet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre they difficult to kill?\u201d I warbled, worried and anxious.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, in truth, almost impossible, but an experienced Woggle can disable them, and make them return to Warrgaraton for\u2026..a kind of medical repair.\u00a0 They just need to rest, often for hundreds of years, before they can recuperate and go swanning their way around the galaxy again, causing no end of trouble and misery.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, but Chico\u2026.\u201d I persisted, \u201cwhat about the peeing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHahaha,\u201d he chortled. \u201cThe peeing does three things. First, it makes sure that there\u2019s no serious residue that might hurt some living being of any type\u2026we neutralize the residue.\u00a0 Second, it tells the Warrg that we\u2019re on the job, and they should keep away.\u00a0 And third, the reaction between our pee and the bullvalene molecule generates a reaction that totally unique to the bullvalene\u2026.and we store that reaction data, and upload it to our planet and the Ubie when we go to sleep.\u00a0 That\u2019s how we catalog the individual Warrgs, and keep track of them.\u00a0 It\u2019s complicated, but there are quite a few of us doing this work on earth, and elsewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWow,\u201d I exclaimed.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s so amazing.\u00a0 Is that true for all dogs?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, not,\u201d chortled Chico.\u00a0 \u201cThey just smell and pee\u2026they KNOW what they smell, and they know it\u2019s unique, but they don\u2019t know why or what to do with the information.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be training your four-leggeds to understand the chemistry and communications, so that they can really be useful to us and to your species.\u00a0 In fact, Licker is going to be one of the best analysts I\u2019ve ever seen or met.\u00a0 He has an incredible smelling ability, along with a huge intellectual capacity for storing an enormous library\u2026almost more than any Woggle I\u2019ve known or known about.\u00a0 He\u2019s a pretty remarkable person, actually.\u00a0 You are\u2026very fortunate to have him in your house, and on your heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love him so much,\u201d I said with depth and passion.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s a noble person.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMore than that,\u201d said Chico quietly and with urgency.\u00a0 \u201cOne day he\u2019s gonna save your life.\u00a0 Mark my words.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little did I know how soon his words would be validated.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why Dogs Pee on Posts, Trees & Fire Hydrants I can forgive even that wrong of wrongs, Those undreamt accidents that have made me\u2026.. Notorious, till all my priceless things Are but a post the passing dogs defile. William Butler Yeats: \u201cClosing Rhymes\u201d \u00a0 The echoes of Yeats\u2019s \u201cClosing Rhymes\u201d reverberate in my mind, and […]<\/p>\nRead More Why Dogs Pee on Posts, Trees & Hydrants<\/span><\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":218,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Dogs Pee on Posts, Trees & Hydrants - Chico<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/chicothemagicdog.com\/blog\/why-dogs-pee-on-posts-trees-hydrants\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Dogs Pee on Posts, Trees & Hydrants - Chico\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why Dogs Pee on Posts, Trees & Fire Hydrants I can forgive even that wrong of wrongs, Those undreamt accidents that have made me\u2026.. Notorious, till all my priceless things Are but a post the passing dogs defile. 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I quickly learned that Harvard was filled with youngsters many times brighter and more talented than I, and all anxious to improve The World (at least, during their freshmen year). I met more interesting, brilliant, committed folks than ever I knew existed; I started a residential music school with the blessing of the class Dean; I learned to organize, fundraise, perform at will, and speak to crowds. In due course, I graduated, started a laboratory, sold it; started a phone company, sold it; started a video-conference company, left it; and went through a few other entrepreneurial lifetimes. All the time, I had a dog, or rather, a dog had me. But never, ever, was I ever owned by a dog like Chico. The greatest characteristics of all time, honored by all philosophers, combined with a naivete that defines selflessness and grace, is rarely so mixed with forgiveness and bravery that we call it not just rare, but virtually impossible. And that's Chico. 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